genesis...the x rated version.

you know...
i have 8 boys in confirmation. 8. i have male member of the congregation that helps me out...you know...boundaries and what not. now, genesis is filled with lovely stories of family drama. yes, baby mama drama...and more.

i wandered into...
circumcision.

yup.
8 prepubescent boys and one man, me, and abraham getting the command to circumcise all males in israel.

great.

the youngest boy in the group (10) was reading through the chapter in genesis. he got to the word circumcision, the other boys giggled, he looked up and said, "what is circumcision?"
Almost in unision the other boys said, "DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!!!!"
In all my vicarly glory i said..."just keep reading, we'll come back to that."

so...

my wonderful assistant looked at me and let me be mortified. then, i just decided to deal with it. circumcision becomes an issue in the new testament, so i couldn't just ignore the issue. plus, it is the second big sign of the covenant God has with Israel...

so...
i didn't explain the hows of circumcision...i explained the whys of circumcision. kept me from being mortified, but the boys were embarassed enough. they also learned why it was important.

then...if that wasn't enough...a few verses later...
SODOM and GOMORAH

WOOHOO!!!
and since that is a "Bible Bullet" for GLBTQ folks, i just figured i had to deal with it. except...i didn't really want to call the sin, "gang rape". oh, wait...the study Bible they have does!! easy out for me! i can blame it on the Bible. so wonderful when we can do that. :)

we keep reading...
i stopped them just before they got to...
lot's daughters sleeping with him so they could each have a kid. i figured i had made us all sufficiently uncomfortable for the morning! incest didn't need to be covered as well.

then...i decided that we needed to move on to Exodus for the next week...

so i summarized 20 chapters of Genesis in 15 minutes. tell the kids it is a soap opera and they think it is great! which...it kind of is...

i told a couple of the parents about the circumcision conversation. they laughed at me. i almost made the organist choke on his coffee as i mentioned the whole circumcision episode. i think this is a class for the record books.

on another note...
i had a moment this morning when i thought, "i am more afraid of the secret service than i am of God." is that weird?

i know that God will forgive me. i am not so sure about the secret service.